A Note To Myself / 01

You’ve betrayed hearts that you knew little of. You’ve mistaken pure love for the kind of lust a few disguised in the form of compassion. You’re guilty and the weight is causing pain through every cell in your body. Every time you breathe, you’re reminded why you shouldn’t. You’re fighting with more demons than you did in your childhood and seem to lose in every battle.

When you are in the middle of a happy conversation with someone who’s trying to help you get through life, nature reflects traces of your past and words ring in your ears like they are real.

“Never thought you’d be such a person.”

And when that happens, you want to sink away into the depths of galaxies and not return. You want to put a knife to your neck and end the sufferings but you can’t, you don’t want to betray your family again.

You’ve made mistakes. Repeated. Yet, if God decided to give you one last chance to find redemption, take it. Take it if not for you, for your family. Take it if not for you, for that one man who believes in you after all.

You are going to be fine.

If not now,

Soon.

If not soon,

A little later.

But later is not too far,

It’s in how you treat yourself to heal, come over and rebuild.

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